Team Jacob?

Shoe Dazzle just cracks me up- their latest promotion rides on the tailcoat of the multi-billion-dollar franchise known as the Twilight Saga. Just to set the record straight, I HAVE read the books and seen the movies. In fact, just last night I went to see Eclipse. I'm Team Edward all the way and proud of it. Why on earth Kristen Stewart would want to keep that relationship a secret, I'll never know. If I was dating Edward Cullen, I'd be all, "That's right! Look at me!" And make fun all you like of the Twi-hards, but Stephanie Meyer is laughing all the way to the bank. I wouldn't mind cashing in on something THAT successful, you know what I mean?

But enough about that, back to Shoe Dazzle. They asked Twilight celebrity Stylist Melis Kuris to select two shoes and two sets of jewelry, inspired by Team Edward and Team Jacob. Each Shoe Dazzle member is then offered one in her showroom. Apparently Shoe Dazzle and Melis think I'm Team Jacob. Patrice is the shoe that showed up in my showroom:

Along with Call of the Wild:

I don't mind Patrice, but there's no way I'm spending $39.95 on a cheap set of bracelets with matching earrings. Honestly, WHO matches their jewelry anymore except 6-year-old girls and women over the age of 60? And what about faux rhinestones reminds you of a boho, earthy style? I'm puzzled. Perhaps the most entertaining aspect of this selection was the first sentence of the description of Patrice:

"Woodsy and wild, Patrice is feral in faux snakeskin and raffia."

I don't know about you, but somehow "feral" isn't how I want my shoes to be described. Images of dirty, wild cats come to mind. It's unfortunate because the shoes are actually pretty fierce, but I was turned off by those five little letters. I didn't get a close look at the Team Edward options, but the original email I received notifying me of this additional selection in my showroom had a picture of a black faux-leather cut-out bootie with a black rhinestone and pewter necklace and earring set. They seemed to be the standard gothic vampire cliche, which isn't really my style (nor is it the Cullen's, which is odd). Not that the Team Jacob options had me swooning, either.

Anyway, I think this might be another month of opting out of Shoe Dazzle's selections. They must be sick me by now, constantly rejecting their shoes. Sorry, Kim Kardashian- I'm just not feeling it right now. You were closer with your SATC2-inspired selections.