Isn't he adorable? I think we look really great together. What a cute couple, right? Well, it was the beginning of a perfect romance. Our first date was going really well.
I suggested we have lunch. He didn't respond. I took that to mean that he wasn't hungry. Unfortunately, for him, I was.
I lost control. I don't know what came over me. He smelled so delicious, I just couldn't resist him. (Insert "Jaws" music here.)
I bit his head off. Brings new meaning to the term "maneater," right? So sorry, little Donut-Man. As much as I loved you, I don't think it would have worked out between us. I really need a man with a little more personality and a little less carbs.