I met someone today...

Actually, he's more than just "someone," he's the perfect boyfriend. He's sweet, oh, so very, very sweet. He listens to me talk about basically anything I want and never complains. He goes wherever I want to go, also without complaint. Come to think of it, he's actually rather quiet and basically lets me do all the talking. Which I like. Anyway, I met him at work today and immediately fell in love. We went outside for a little while because the weather was so nice.

Isn't he adorable? I think we look really great together. What a cute couple, right? Well, it was the beginning of a perfect romance. Our first date was going really well.

I suggested we have lunch. He didn't respond. I took that to mean that he wasn't hungry. Unfortunately, for him, I was.

I lost control. I don't know what came over me. He smelled so delicious, I just couldn't resist him. (Insert "Jaws" music here.)

I bit his head off. Brings new meaning to the term "maneater," right? So sorry, little Donut-Man. As much as I loved you, I don't think it would have worked out between us. I really need a man with a little more personality and a little less carbs.