Fall trends- no, thank you!

I recently read a style article that listed 5 major trends for fall. My response to each of them? No, thank you! Let me elaborate. First, unisex leather bomber jackets:The one pictured here is actually a fairly slim cut, but that is SO hard to find in a bomber jacket. They are very boxy and generally really unflattering. If you can find one that is flattering on you, go for it, I guess, but in my humble opinion, there are SO many far more flattering and far more interesting jacket choices. I respect what she did, but I'm not interested in dressing like Amelia Earhart. Trend #1? Rejected!

Next, anything reminiscent of lumberjack style- flannel, plaid, work clothes, hiking boots- although there was no mention of an axe as an accessory.

Listen good, kids- if it doesn't look good on Lindsay Lohan, it won't look good on you. This trend reminds of the "grunge" movement of the early 90's. Do you really want to look "grunge-y?" I didn't think so. Trend #2? Rejected!

Next, embellished tights: This is perhaps the least offensive of these 5 trends, but for me personally, I want my legs to look sleek and this look is just a little too grade-school-crafty for me. I'll be honest, in the winter I wear a lot of tights to work and throughout the day, sequins, thread, rhinestones, and all sorts of other sewing paraphernalia catch on them. This look reminds me of those days I spend pulling all that crap OFF my legs. I might go for a more subtle embellished pair of tights, but this look? No, thank you! Trend #3? Rejected!

Next? 80's vintage clothing.

I can't even talk about this one. Vintage 80's? Really. Trend #4? Rejected!

And finally, the mohawk.

(I'm sorry, but I just couldn't help myself with this picture.) All I have to say about this trend is, I pity the fool who thinks this looks good! Rejected!

Here's my big issue with the last 2 items of the list- the 80's were a horrible decade for fashion, so WHY ON EARTH is the industry bringing trends back from that period? I'm all for vintage, but the 80's are a decade that really should be forgotten. Rhinestone studded bustiers? Over sized, off-the-shoulder t-shirts? Mullets? Gravity-defying bangs held up with Aqua net? Tight-rolled, high-waisted jeans? Please correct me if you think I'm wrong, but I doubt you'll be able to convince me. If there are any other trends you've heard lately and you're not quite sure if they're a thumbs up or down, leave me a comment and I'll happily chime in.